Under Pressure

Well it's the middle of the second week back and already I'm feeling the pressure. The difference between the workload in the first year compared to all of what we have to do and the things we need to know and learn is a little overwhelming to say the least. Or at least from my perspective anyway. I have had a headache for three days straight now and although I have a bad neck which is probably not helping, I'm sure that some of it is due to stress.

I would be okay if it was just the prep work for lectures and practicals and all usual the reading/note taking around the subject. Even though this year there is a hell of a lot of it I could cope if it was just that....it is all these presentations we are having to do that is finishing me off, the first of which is tomorrow. We are doing them as a group and it is only for 10 minutes yet every time I think about it it puts the fear of god into me!!

Our presentation has already been physically put together and I actually enjoyed that part, getting to work with people who I wouldn't usually have the chance to. It went pretty smoothly and wasn't half as awkward as I expected it to be. With most of my group living a long way from campus we haven't had the opportunity to meet up and practice but as we had no lectures today my plan was to have a bit of a practice of it at home in front of my boyfriend. I was also going to do some other bits of uni work but I've been that stressed with it all I've literally frozen not been able to do anything yet so I'm a bit upset with myself :-(

Even my usual tricks to keep myself nice and calm haven't helped and I have been wondering if and how I am going to get through the rest of the year if I'm going to feel like this all the time. I hadn't doubted myself about taking this path until this past week but I am seriously beginning to wonder if I will make it. Deep down I know I would never give it up as I genuinely love it, but you know how it is when you have had a bad few days and have been under the weather. I love the uni, the lectures themselves, the teaching staff are great and most of all I enjoy placement which is what it's all about really. I can't wait to get back there in fact. Since starting 2nd year I have discovered I definitely prefer being on placement than in uni whereas last year I probably liked them equally.

Anyway, I have been feeling a bit better about it as the day has gone on, and truthfully I will just be glad when tomorrow is over with. I have always had a fear of public speaking but as I'm getting older it seems to be getting worse not better. Going to relax for the rest of the day and spend an hour or so before bed having a practise and boring my bf to death but I'm sure I'll feel better after that. Wish me luck, I daresay I'll be back tomorrow with an update. Let's hope it's a good one!