The beginning of the end...

Hi guys :-)

Well I started back at uni this week. The first week of my third and final year, hence the beginning of the end. I have been on placement this week working long out of hours shifts and I must admit after dreading going back last week and being nervous as hell, I really enjoyed it. The first day i really felt like a fish out of water since I've not been at the hospital I was at this past week since June. It's amazing how quickly you forget things, even the basics! However, within a day or so it all came flooding back and it was like I'd never been away.

At this stage there isn't really much to say about what I've been up to as it's only the first week back. I've started being able to go and do portable chest x-rays by myself now which is great cos I was a bit nervous about progressing from second year to third year and the fact that we will be expected to be able to do most things or at least have a go at it. So off I went to ICU for my first one which was an NG tube check. I felt sick when I got back to the department to check the x-ray in case I'd messed it up but it was fine. I also did another couple of mobile chest x-rays by myself in A&E and again they were all okay and I could see the improvement I'd made with each x-ray. Not only with the x-ray itself but how I went about things and dealt with each situation. So I gave myself a big pat on the back for that because it would have been quite easy for me to say to the radiographers I'd rather not do it by myself or get them to do some of them or come with me because they offered if I didn't feel ready.

They were all extremely supportive. They could obviously see I wanted to have a go by myself but was understandably nervous about it so they were really encouraging and made it clear if I had any problems then to just ring them etc. It wasn't a case of forcing me to go, I was given the option to do so to build up my confidence and so I'm really glad I did.

I've noticed a change already going back this week in that you are given a lot more responsibility as a third year but I guess by now they know you quite well and are aware of your strengths and weaknesses so it's usually not anything you can't handle. If it's obviously going to be too much of a challenge then they always step in. I'm glad I've realised this early on as it's taken away some of the worry and meant I've had a great first week back. 

I'm off today because of the long shifts I've been doing - it means I have a shorter working week so today is the day where I actually will get something down on paper for my dissertation. I know exactly what I'm doing, I have my journal articles so I just need to get writing.

I'm hoping to post on here at the end of each week on placement so I should be back here again next weekend. Have a great weekend :-)

I'm still here....

Hello,

Thought I'd come and post quickly for anyone who reads this. I've been quiet recently as I've been so busy. I've finished my second year now and have been on my electives and currently enjoying the summer hols. Got a few weeks off to relax now and take some much needed time out. I can't quite believe I have made it to the 3rd year! I've passed all the uni side of things and clinical assessments and finally feel like it is all clicking into place now I've done my electives. I went to a district general hospital, a major trauma centre and also spent some times observing sonographers. Mixed in with all of this I went to CT, fluoroscopy and theatre. I can honestly say I enjoyed every single week and learned lots! I am pretty sure that one day, if I ever got the chance to I would love to become a sonographer. Hopefully one day.

I'm feeling excited about the prospect of the third year already and looking forward to this time next year when I will have graduated (all things being well) and hopefully found myself a job. In contrast to this time last year when I was really struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel, run down, ill and wondering how I was going to cope with it all I feel full of excitement and hope.

In the third year we have to do a 10,000 word dissertation on a subject of our choice. I have changed my mind so many times but I think I have settled on something now that will keep my interest for the duration. No doubt it will be another intense year but after getting through everything during spring and summer this year I'm sure I'll be fine and at least I know this is the final slog.

Anyway, that's enough for now :-)

Fed up

Hi guys,

Wasn't really sure what to call this post. All I can say really is the last two weeks have been pretty hard and I'm not so sure I've enjoyed placement as much as I have previously. I spent a week in another hospital in a completely different department for some observation and I absolutely hated it. It really took it out of me just getting through that week. Needless to say I was looking forward to getting back to my usual hospital but it was short-lived - again another horrendous week, spent in a slightly different department. Just been feeling a bit like no matter how hard I try or how good my intentions it is just never good enough.....there is always something else.

I'm suffering with tiredness pretty bad this past week and the last two weekends I've been looking forward to and hoping for a rest and up til now I've still not had one. Since going back to uni I've been totally skint and things are going from bad to worse so I've been having to work the past few Sundays and then keep other people happy/be sociable on the Saturday when all I've really wanted to do is sit down and catch up with myself. It's now Sunday night (again) and I'm absolutely knackered and not even a little bit rested so this is going to be another bad week. For the third week on the bounce I'm going to a different hospital and department which is quite some distance from home and means leaving the house at 7.15 a.m. Not quite as bad as the week before last when I was having to leave at 6.45 a.m but still not ideal. I wasn't getting home til about 6.45 p.m that week so I hope I can get home a bit earlier on this placement.

Going to keep this post short and sweet as I don't really want to moan on here too much and as you can probably tell I'm feeling quite fed up of placement at the moment. The only thing keeping me going is that I'm on hol after this week. Can't wait!

Yipee.....I can finally see the light :-)

Hello,

Thought I'd come and post with what I've been up to. I've now completed my first 2 weeks of this placement block. Week 1 was preparation for my clinical assessment and Week 2 was my assessment. I am pleased to say I passed! I didn't get half as nervous as I usually do and I didn't find it as challenging as the portables assessment but I think that's because this assessment included a lot of examinations that I've undertaken on a regular basis so it felt more familiar. It basically included bucky work and dealing with patients on trolleys and using a horizontal beam etc. I really surprised myself because I thought I'd panic as soon as was presented with anything remotely challenging but somehow, deep in there something suddenly seemed to click into place. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. I've passed all of my clinical assessments, completed all my exams and coursework and I've passed everything so far. Just waiting on one result to come back but I think it should be okay. So now all that is standing between me and the 3rd year is these last few weeks of placement. Scary! Doesn't seem like 5 minutes since I was waiting to start the course.

Aside from my assessment I had a really good week getting loads of experience. Exams that I was struggling with seem to have also finally clicked into place so it's all coming together. A radiographer was telling me only a few weeks ago that things suddenly clicked into place for them and that it would for me too and it seems they were right. So needless to say, last night I was absolutely shattered. Best night's sleep I've had in ages and so far this has been the best weekend in a long time. I feel completely stress and hassle free, personally, lots of positive things have happened and again certain things have fell into place. I can just tell this is going to be a wonderful summer :-) Next week I have a full week in angiography so that will be interesting. Will report back soon. Enjoy the weekend x

Quick Catch Up

Hi guys,

Again, sorry it's been a while. I've been so busy there has been little time to do anything really. Last time I posted I remember I was about to start writing up an assignment on reflective practise. Seems like such time ago now. I handed that in and got a good mark back from it so I was really pleased with that. Since then everything has been a bit mental really. I've had a block of placement, Easter hols a block at uni and now I'm about to do another block of placement again.

So I shall start at the beginning. Okay, so for my last block at placement I was back on the theatre rotation again and also had my clinical assessment on portables. I have been freaking out about this assessment since the start of the year since I always found it a bit intimidating going up onto the wards, or to recovery or A/E and all the other places you have to go when patients need portable chest x-rays and other portable exams. I got off to a bit of a shaky start since I wasn't prepared for it but once I got going and got an intense practice period under my belt I got the hang of it pretty quickly. I surprised myself actually and by the time I got to the end of it I didn't feel half as intimidated by it all as when I first started. Just goes to show where a bit of good practice can get you and my tutor was really pleased with what I did so it all came good in the end and was a nice way to finish off my placement.

I've also well and truly gotten over my issues with theatre and enjoy going down there now. It doesn't fill me with the dread it once did. With going there more often and getting more involve with the imaging during the procedures I'm getting to know how things/people work there now and have been getting help from all kinds which was wonderful. They obviously recognise that I've been struggling and I'm obviously a student learning so have been really patient and encouraging with me and generally trying to make me life a bit easier. Taking the time to explain things and so on which really makes all the difference. It really is the small things, but they certainly keep you going and help to build up your confidence. Obviously I have had one or two little mishaps but nothing major and I guess that's how we learn - by our mistakes.  I think theatre might actually now be one of my favourite parts of the job....surprise surprise!

So that was my last stint at placement. It was straight back to uni after that and it has been ridiculously intense. I'm not much of a multi-tasker when it comes to getting uni work (or anything) done really. I like to focus on one thing at a time and give it my full attention but that has just been impossible these past weeks. There have been assignments to hand in, exams of all kinds of variety and presentations to boot! Yuck! I'm amazed I got through it all and I'm actually proud of myself for facing so many of my demons this year and getting on with it rather than crumbling into a heap like I thought I might, and wanted to on several occasions! I passed the presentations which was fantastic, they really are my weakness and was expecting my lowest marks here but I surprised myself. Just got to wait for all the other results to come back which will probably be in the next week or two. One more exam/assessment to go and then I'm done with them (I hope)! Even though the results aren't back yet I feel quite happy with how I did with most of the exams. I put the work in and for the most part there were no surprises so I should be okay. I think I may have totally bombed out in one of them but we shall see. It totally wasn't what I was expecting and just my luck, all the things I looked at and thought might come up didn't....so when I saw what was there and didn't know any of it I panicked and all of my common sense abandoned me. I still feel a bit sick about it now when I think about it but whatever will be will be. It's done now and there is nothing I can do. I'm feeling happy otherwise though so it's just a waiting game now.

As I say I have one more assessment and another block of placement. For this next block I'm not at my base hospital much at all. I'm spending most of the time at different hospitals so we will see what that brings. I'll get to experience using different x-ray equipment most probably, and different ways of working. I also have a week of things like barium enemas, barium swallows, ERCPs, hysterosalpingograms. Basically different examinations where you look at the digestive, biliary and reproductive system. I mention these so that if anyone is reading this blog and thinking of studying radiography you realise that you will be doing a variety of things. You still use x-rays but with contrast agents and so on and it's just a bit different I guess to your usual ward, clinic and A/E stuff etc.

Anyway, I have the day off and plan to relax and enjoy it fully before the next tidal wave of stress and busyness hits me next week so I'm signing off for now. Hopefully with me being on placement it will me I'll be posting more regularly.

A time for reflection...

Well guys,

Sorry it's been a while since I checked in. I kept meaning to but you know how it is sometimes. In the months since I last posted I have been busy with exams, essays and lectures. So let's start with the exams. They were pretty much straight after Christmas and I just seemed to hit a wall. I was so tired after placement whenever I sat down to revise I just couldn't focus so in the end I had to take a step back, have a few days off from it all which only left me with a few days to prepare for the exam. Needless to say I was really worried about whether I would pass or not and in the written exam I thought I had let myself down with bad exam technique. I didn't have a problem with what was on the paper, it was simply getting all the info down in the allotted time! I noticed in the first year I was struggling with this and I actually ran out of time so I was panicked. There was also an OSCE which at the time I thought I did brilliantly on and finished well in time. Between the two I thought I had a pass and I tried not to worry over it, thought I did a good job of not worrying too until the results came out. It turned out I did really well - I averaged over 70% between the two exams although I did good on the written exam and not so good on the OSCE which was a surprise.

However, I didn't realise how stressed I was waiting for these reults because when I got them I was so relieved I just felt physically and mentally drained but now I also feel pressure to do well in everything else. So that had me worrying about the next essay due in and again cos of the worry I just couldn't and didn't know where to start so I ended up putting too much pressure on myself to get it all done and I wasn't really in the right frame on mind to do it until the last minute. It was like I'd forgotten how to write an essay....I felt totally clueless and ended up talking to my partner about how I was feeling as I was getting so worried about my inability to sit and concentrate on anything. I was actually thinking of going to see/speak to someone....I still might.  I have never been one for leaving things til last minute and I'd never left anything as late as the last essay but I guess stress does funny things to you. It's hard to concentrate and do work or even manage to go into uni some days when you have literally not slept in days and feel at a total loss. It's not a nice feeling at all. And then because I haven't done any work cos I'm too tired to see straight the pattern repeats at night....not being able to sleep for thinking about the work I have not yet started! To be honest though, I can't blame it all on uni. I have had lots of other personal things going wrong in my life and whizzing around in my head at night which has caused a lot of stress and sleepless nights. I was actually quite proud of the end result and think I did myself justice all things considered, I just have to wait now for the results.

I actually came on here to look up something I wrote about that I experienced on placement for a reflective assignment that is due in this week and I am pretty much only just starting. I was managing to feel a little less stressed last week but I'm confused about how to tackle it or where to start really, so again I have had my fair share of sleepless nights this week. Managed to get a proper sleep last night though, I was determined so I could get some work done today. I didn't think it would do any harm posting here, probably do me good in fact to have a bit of a moan and "reflect" I suppose. Practice for the real thing :-) And I do actually feel better already. Sometimes I really do think I do put too much pressure on myself and I should just ease up and not stress about everything as much as I do. I will feel a lot better after today hopefully once I've had a read through my journals and put a plan of action together. i think I'm halfway there having started looking up models of reflection and so on so that's some progress.

So all in all I do seem to be progressing well both on placement and uni and have received good feedback for both. Just need to get my head down and keep plugging away. Since we started back in the New Year several people have left the course for different reasons. I guess we are approaching the business end of the course now and people can really tell if it's for them or not and it certainly isn't easy! So I guess if your heart's not in it or whatever it's going to be even harder to make it to the end. It's hard to believe that I'm pretty much half way through my 3 years and that in 17 months I will hopefully be graduating. Scary stuff!

Once this essay is handed in next week I've got a few more weeks at uni and then I'll be back on placement. I have my assessment when I go back so not looking forward to that. I just hope I won't be too rusty as it's been a while. Anyway, that's enough for now. Time to get back to the essay.

I'll try not to be such a stranger on here from now on, especially as like I say I'll be back on placement soon.